Hello world! – Five Star Life Designs

Topic of this BLOG: Recovering from Relationship Trauma & Betrayal

What is Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma occurs when harm comes from a trusted loved one—through abuse, abandonment, infidelity, or deception. Unlike other forms of trauma, it disrupts the very foundation of safety and trust, often leading to symptoms mirroring PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

Quick Stats

• 30–60% of betrayed partners experience clinically significant PTSD, depression, or anxiety.

• 67% avoid deep relationships after betrayal.

• 84% report lifelong struggles with trust.

• Aftershocks include chronic stress, financial fears, and long-term health problems.

The Brain & Body: Neuroscience of Betrayal Trauma

🔹 Prefrontal Cortex Shutdown: Under betrayal stress, the PFC is flooded with norepinephrine and dopamine, reducing its ability to regulate thought, speech, and behavior.

🔹 Amygdala Hyperactivity: Fear circuits remain on high alert, creating hypervigilance and emotional reactivity.

🔹 Inflammation: Stress upregulates cytokines, raising vulnerability to depression and chronic illness.

🔹 Social Pain = Physical Pain: Betrayal activates the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC) and anterior insula—the same brain regions triggered by physical pain.

Healing Approaches & Counselor Tools

Evidence-Based Therapies

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) & Attachment-Injury Resolution – Supports trust rebuilding and forgiveness. And many others personalized to the individual.

Quick Tools

Start journaling about this question:

1. What felt most unsafe about this betrayal?

Work on techniques to heal the portion of the brain that is shut down and make it hard to speak about the betrayal trauma. The Gestalt chair technique is powerful when clients cannot speak with their partners about their pain.

Hope & Transformation

Healing from betrayal is possible. Survivors often emerge stronger, more resilient, and more self-aware than before. Betrayal can serve as a catalyst for profound personal growth and renewed meaning.

Faith & Meaning-Making

Many survivors reframe betrayal as a path to transformation—finding strength, identity, and even purpose through the recovery process (‘beauty for ashes’).

“You simply cannot affirm this pain away.” – C. Allen-North

References

• Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422.

• Eisenberger, N. I. (2012). The pain of social disconnection. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(6), 421–434.

“Recovering from Relationship Trauma and How it Affects You and Your Brain” coming soon (My Book)